Passing thoughts on fate

Fate : theres ever an argument about it.Some beleive in it some dont.
Some say the destiny is in our hands some say nothing is in our hands.

I once explained my view this way to my friend.
Life is like an algorithm already written by God and thats fate but where you end up in that depends on you ashe has inserted so many decision points in it.Thus you have choices in life but not infinite.In the algorithm for you he has written 'result 1' if you say yes and 'result 2' if you say no but whatever you do you cannot get 'result 3' as its not a option for you.

ha ha i sometimes pity my friends esp those who are subjected to such but then again they are a privileged few.With most of them i just chatter on.No discussions.

Anyway why i remembered this conversation was that last night i came to know something and could only wonder about fate.She's a good friend and she got the job in software finally with a great pay and i am extremely happyfor her because i rememeber the days we struggled together.Life somehow was cruel in similar ways to us.
So why did i bring fate in ........ well she got into the company i quit a year ago....mine was not a s/w job as they were then not into it.So i asked myself am i feeling green about it....no i have many faults but envy is not one cause i couldnt care less about what others have ...its always what i want that i am concerned.
So why was i a bit upset at heart.....i asked myself .....ok the pay issue........50% may be because i am upset on that.....the other 50% is because of the way fate plays games......i somehow have no affection for my current job......forget motivation ....job satisfaction and all that.But then after a lot of thought i reminded myself it was just a knee jerk reaction.....after all what i loved there were my friends ....people with whom i had shared good bad and terrible times unlike here where if there is nothing terrible there isnt much good too.
yeah the compensation stuff hurts but its always secondary if i like everything else though i never admit it.i just add it to the crib list when all else sucks.

Then i asked myself what is it or rather who do i envy and i could come up with only 1 person.
Deepti bhatnagar.......damn lucky is she not?
Early morning she goes around loveliest and serene temples in lovely chiffons and kanjeevarams and at noon she's all over europe and other continents looking fabulous in the choicest dresses.
How much fun travel is...esp if thats a job.................... ah i really envy her.

a few cruelities of life
Why do people behave cruelly sometimes.......Why does a friend who has been on leave watch cricket and describe it while you are slogging it away....and why most of all my mom who has no sentimental value of anykind for things break my heart going on and on describing what she knows would invariably hurt me.She went to visit our old house....and she tells me tales even though i scream at her to stop."The roses you remember ...you planted ....it has grown so big...such big flowers all them six colors....even our old servant was saying ...when you people were there there were not as many now so many.The yellow hibiscus flowers you know they use to drop away the lady in the house say they bloom perfectly so well now."If someone's into too much philosophy they'l say this is the way of the world"Some one plants the mangoes some one eats".No wonder i hate so many ways of the world.All this happens while we stay with four flower pots where now that the rains are over hardly one blooms a month.I have a stupid and nostalgic streak but i really get upset about the fact that we moved from that house because of my moms wishes for varied and some unexplainable reasons .It was a beautiful garden i had grown there in the little space we had and esp last november december i had in just a spaceof 9ft x 1 ft grown so many varieties of flowers ....such lovely white daisises, dahlias...phlox..roses of course ....oh god.Then she rubs salt in my wounds by her happy descriptions.Now its like i hate it here and my next garden is years further what with us opting for an apartment.As if all this is not enough she brought two large momentos of roses and put them on display in the living room.Just how cruel can one get.My professional scenario is giving a hellishly irritating feeling.Came across this punchline...suited me just fine i thought

"I lied to them to get the job.They lied to me about the job.We are even."
then i realised .... i need to edit it
"I finally was honest about myself.They are still lying........"
That proves how things are at my job.

A bueracratically festive month

It seems so long since i wrote any stuff on this blog and so many things just rolled on.Work in itself is tiring enough(oh just started browsing today and one link led to another and i found on a blog containing exactly what ran through my head when i saw the Tata Dicor ad ."I always wanted to quit on Monday morning"Absolutely loved the ad so much that while leaving on Friday evening while chatting with my manager i just say did you see that ad for Dicor....loved it.I really can be cruel.)
The whole of last month has been a lesson for me in bureaucracy.3 months after cancelling my previous postpaid they say it never was cancelled and the network is following me unwantedly everywhere.Then there's my current postpaid issues.But the best part was when i called up their cust careboth had a common service level.
One says our backend is down...
other says our servers are not up.WoW.
Then there's my issue with a bank who has discovered advertising suddenly and is going gung ho that it has themaximum ATM's in India.Well i never expected much but to discover that forget ATM's one branch manager could not discover phone number of the main branch in a different city in one whole month was news.After one month of strutting to the bank patiently requesting my manager for a few hrs leave the day i lost patience and expressed my displeasure im clearly told my place.
It is your mistake maam to lose the draft .........not ours..so wait till we find out if it can be cancelled......hmmm.......true...very true.Actually very true....i should never have bothered...went to the my only near to reliable source GOOGLE and in 20 minutes flat found the phone number and i can now continue my ordeal once weekend is over.
As if all these thing dont make you feel dead hopeless in life my mom coaxes me into taking a loan and now i have to discover all the stuff about form16's and floating and fixed.
Then i got a refresher course of my organisational political set up at office.More on that in later posts.Damn life i feel but then i had my silver linings.
There was such wonderful cricket and then i met up a few friends some very dear ones after it never seemed to happen and felt quite happy about it.Thats why i love so many festivals...birthdays...newyears..Perfect excuses to call or chat up friends as in general you feel sometimes so strange with no words to say as much as you want to say stuff.I bought a few more of those stones that are a girls best friend no matter what.They sure brought some sunshine in this extended rainy season.
Yeah i beleive in retail therapy now after all these years of resisting my sister trying toconvince me of it.I observed and discussed its wonderful effects on myself and in friends lives.