Sunday, August 28, 2005

SOUL

Across the spiked wall lay the world of wild freedom,
but beyond my reach was this heavenly garden
amidst the fragrant blossoms i wished a solitary abode
but brazen was i to beleive such life was to be mine
among the shattered reflections of broken glass
i discovered the need to be sublime
but brittle was my will
against life's daily mill
above the starlit sky i hoped to find the light
but below the dark earth claimed me with its might
across the horizons of despair i tread
beleiving i'll find hope but
beneath the gritty flesh
lies a soul weathered by life .
----------------------------------------
As i looked through my old stuff this weekend found
this poem i wrote sometime back and
i still could say the same.
Life goes on by sheer grit but its the
soul that suffers the grinding mill of life.

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Friday, August 19, 2005

Blinding light maimimg the night

The darkness of the night always holds a charm somewhat a lil more appealing
than may be day for me Ive always liked the calm of the night a bit more.

thats why i guess i love that song raat hamari to....from parineeta
but i wrote this poem sometime back getting irritated by light and today i
remembered it again due to the same reason so i thought of posting it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blinding light- Blinking and blazing

that could only be a madman's delight.
but are we short of such lunatics
in a world deprived of their heart's sight
where the lovely dark night is maimed at heart and soul
by a day that never ends.
razed of its beauty by every bright light
she cries out only to be sounded out
by the ones causing this plight
its scarier than any darkness
this light still we take it in our stride
lest we remember that there used to be
soulfilling moonlight in the arms of what
used to be the dark beautiful night.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

weve got these airconditioned offices and are working
under the lights day or night
and i get irritated by them and its frustrating being unable to switch them off.
but even in general its so hard to see darkness
(forget the unsafe dark areas created by our city and town corporations).
if you are lucky enough to have a terrace which i had till few months ago
then also you will have the street lights blinding you.
(cant help it....they r absent where needed)
there is so much artificial lighting that its frustrating.
you just cant enjoy the soft dark night.



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Saturday, August 13, 2005

Music in life - memories and musings

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life"

said a someone.
that i think is certain but i always wonder about the kind of music
preferences we have and the way we listen to it and react to it.

I have no knowledge of classical music and am mostly into ghazals ,hindi film music of all times
(where im a real Connoisseur) and the general english pop(where im not really very well versed).

Since in school i loved old hindi songs and hummed them and the first memory i have is that when my dad caught me
in fifth class humming "babuji dheere chalna....." and i was so glum.
Chitahaar was the regular discussed topic in school bus and really when the power was gone for chitrahaar it was upsetting enough to cry but those were days before cable television.now we laugh real time about it.
ive always loved radio and vividh bharathi esp simply because it gives you range of music across time unlike the repeat broadcast on other places.

Then there was mtv and it was good to listen to english songs too ......funny what mtv india has become now
we indians sure know how to indianise if we want to.
MTV 5 yrs ago played english songs with a smattering of hindi
now we have the same hindi trailers going on and on with cyrus the only respite.

but now with time constraints and a busy life the way we listen to music has changed its always in the background .
people listen while working ,driving ,cooking etc but
does some one with a normal job still get the time to sit and play some music and absorb it ,feel it i wonder.
The other thing i always feel is when im emotional i prefer the hindi music....
the english songs however good seem a bit detached.......so when im out anywhere or at office i prefer the english music
but at home i always love lata rafi kishore and jagjit singh voice is a great stress releiver since
college days(i had to buy a second piece of my arth/saath saath cassette i listened to it so much those days ).
one point i notice is generally music in our own language be it hindi or our mother tongue(if your are comfortable in it which unfortunately is not true for many people today) is more touching.
May its got to do with the lyrical melody.i always feel i have a penchant for that---- lyrics woven in melodyrather than just the beat and rhythm.

the most strange thing for me is classical music is said to be relaxing but whenever i listen to any instrumental i feel restless its kind of an unexplainable feeling for me------ as though i want to weave words into it.
it does not suit me but you give a song based on classical raag and i adore it.

its not as if i do not like loud songs in fact to my own surprise i do(the worst part used to be that
govinda's songs i hate are way too catchy) --- but its always in crowds,or when i do not like to think ,
or im too happy or want to block out things from mind - i play all those loud songs with beats ,rhythm and what not.
but what about those who listen to them always....like my sis has a commom refrain whenever
i play music ...is there not enough tragedy in life why play those sad songs and so she wants the
remixes, pop and fast tracks.

The other thing is there are some people who like listening to music on headphones and there
are some who like it playing around them not on a headphone.we sisters loved it when they played it nonstop
at the puja pandals where we stayed during our childhood.we still like it when some lovely melody drifts
from the window suiting our mood rather than specifically we searching and playing that song.
I do hate the stupid songs that keep barging from the neighbours house as much.
its so much nice when you are thinking of something or walking along and ur fav number is heard
and u feel something like a good omen and days when you wake up with a certain song on your lips and thewhole day you never quite get rid of it.then somehow i have my moments when i like silence not even music but quite some people like it nonstop.

but all said and done music never ceases to amaze me. suddenly i listen to a song and
the whole mood changes(the only instantaneous solution found
coz to read my other antidote takes time and effort)
when i am worried worried and feel crazy and suddenly i listen to
"rahi manwa dukh ki chinta kyun satati hai
dukh to apna saathi hai
sukh hai ek saheli jo aati hai jaati hai " its like im releived.

I really feel bad about people who do not care for
music of any kind ---- i mean any kind pop rap classical(its true i know some)
and i feel pity that they have been denied by heaven such a sublime gift.

with potter still in my mind i quote
Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!

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Sunday, August 07, 2005

For friends who matter any day

I am not much into all these days that are marketed these days but then
I am not against them also because well its nice once in a while to
indulge ourselves and others whom we are fond of
by a special line mailed/emailed ,or a gift sent or just a wish.
We may love them always but its nice to take time on a day just to
let them know how special they are.
I myself have few people i can call good friends and fewer are ones i call close friends.


"Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances
will know you in a thousand years."
-----Richard Bach

and there are times when you take time out to call them or mail them
but life is so boring i just wonder why am i bothering them.
So on a day like this its just an excuse
to wish happiness , remember good times
thats why i do not mind
frienship day or for that matter any other day.


"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave
footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."



Happy Friendship Day

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Friday, August 05, 2005

Snaped by rowling

yeah finished off sixth book- harry potter and the half blood prince as usual in one go. i resisted it way too much till this week but the moment i knew i had time to read it through at a time i did it. and it truly was good as expected ....best after azkaban.I will not review it ...there's too much all over the net about it. but honestly its the charm of the way the book is written..........els whatever marketing you do u wud not find discussion board's and forums discussing the book.i really am wondering wondering....agitated ...damn it how long ...and one of my fav character killed....i expected it but still it was tragic u have to wait for the next book ...... its too much(i could not wait to finish my nancy drew since it was issued in the school library --- had to finish it in less than 5 hrs-----i hate waiting but i most of the time i wait for buses...for jobs...for people) but now my mind is filled with all kinda wizardology and whos the culprit thoughts Snape really is he truly the killer if the killing took place really....It seems too simple. It cant be......then i reread passages ...for hints. I was like this when Voldemort had renewed himself to some form at the end of book4. Horcruxes and snape is all i can think and therein lies the magic. For once i am not remembering that its been a terrible week with sunday work.... early starts to office and feeling sooo sleepy. Its been a strangely tiring week but the book really made me feel (sad and excited) else the daily routine of life was getting to me. There's magic anyday in books for me but this saga of magic by rowling is truly magical.

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