Just about a book

I bought the book "THE COLLECTED POEMS" about five years back when i was actually broke i mean almost three years of no employment and depression and how do you spend the five hundred bucks you are given on your birthday by Dad .... walk into a book store and you spot the lovely covered book by one of your fav author hold it and then
It was almost as though the book wanted to be taken and it seemed in my upset mood nothing would cure me.(I take that quote pretty seriously at heart it'd seem "If thou has a loaf of bread, sell half and buy a hyacinth to feed thy soul") well i took it and the most agonising part is i have no decent book shelf so i cover it neatly which i hate because it hides the cover i like but to take care of it i need to cover it.ah ....what complexities life has.

To think if my mom knew i spent that much on a book esp in those days she'd have finished me by now by giving the foremost reasons for my messed up life as ever i.e. stubborness, love of books,cricket and lazy long hours of sleep.
Neverthless i love them all and i love my books .About the author I enjoy his novels they are good..will write about them when i have more timebut its not his stories its the feel which he puts into words almost poetic and musical.For example his novel THE EQUAL MUSIC is so depressing in a way and you dont even like the characters sometimes but you love the book there's a lyrical feel woven into it.Thats why i love his poetry more esp the ones in "ALL YOU WHO SLEEP TONIGHT". Today was browsing through it again and thought of posting this

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SIT

Sit, drink your coffee here;
your work can wait awhile.
You're twenty-six, and still have some life ahead.
No need for wit; just talk vacuities, and I'll
Reciprocate in kind, or laugh at you instead.

The world is too opaque, distressing and profound.
This twenty minutes' rendezvous will make my day:
To sit here in the sun, with grackles all around,
Staring with beady eyes, and you two feet away.

by Vikram Seth
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Subtlety and some memories

Last weekend i was bored of browsing esp had a gnawing feeling that i'll be the victim of a carpal tunnel.So i flipped through channels and all i foundinteresting was was the ashes final test.I was watching it alone at home and it brought back memories when watching cricket had rated very up there in life.Books , Music ,Flowers ,Cricket that was what life was about.I am not very very comfortable being known as an avid cricket watcher in my current circle unlike then simply because everyone acts one esp its become to be thought of as a fad as if women have started watching cricket only after Mandira discovered it.
I loved to watch it with my Dad since i was a kid and was crazy about it though never played itmuch being an indoor kid.even now when he calls if there is a match on and he's travelling he always calls me to come to the phone to get the score.I very much enjoyed it and was fortunate enough to have a friendwho played at the state level.She kinda ensured that i knew what was inswing , outswing , flipper etc were.What fun we had during the 1996 world cup...some of the best times of my life.
Those days news always was to be read from the last page...it still is if i have time to go through the newspaper.In those days we had that enjoyable Indian express or Statesman and enjoyed Pradeep Magazine and others columns.
Now to discuss cricket is like a show off and so i try to keep off it.Why even my mom hated it.She drove me many a time to tears by her obsessive hatred of what she thought was a terrible game enjoyed too much by people who wanted to do nothing .i.e my dad n me.Now my mom is cool about it as its socially trendy ....now when i dont have the time to stay home and watch it.It feels cruel.
Well thats all past ...what got me into this flashback mode was this Ashes broadcast was it was on ESPN ..the commentators were simply talking about the game...none of the flashy nonsense you have to put up with(God i have to mute the TV while watching India playand to think there was a time i used to say quiet please let me enjoy the commentary too.)

Gilchrist was out just before lunch and so decently the relay ended saying " see you in 35 minutes after lunch" and that triggered off all my memories of how it used to be before Sidhu and co ganged up and we have beauties , contests and what not.In a way i guess it may be the way we indians are..our love for drama, melas and over the board gaiety.

We indians sure know how to make the world rock our way.Its like we tell the world sell what you want to us but package it the way we want.

MTV is now worse than Indian music channels in airing only hindi flopmovie full songs and trailers of hindi movies.In our college days you'd be lucky to catch a hindi song on it.Pizzas we made them stoop and bring variety to their bland fare.....forced them to invent tandoori/tikka and what not flavor.
There are numerous examples of organizations being forced to change their strategyto cater to us the land of maharajahs and what not where you have to go overboard for everything ...humor or sentiment.You just have to watch our advertising to know this best.

Subtle is not a word Indians like i guess sadly.

A week of some nevers

Went househunting the weekend.tried to compromise by hopefully getting an apartment( though i Never am happy about apartments) but its not to be it seems.liked one a bit too much dont know why..rare for me to like one as much and convinced mum and all that this one'd be great.yeah id hoped id get my own room finally but it seems it was not to be.i was pretty upset .

Pr was very upset kind the whole week in fact our whole gang of 3 n me was kinda fed up.those 3 are like sick and tired of the job and wondering what next in life.they have a great future the kids really.....its just thebegining ...mine s a different story.then there was this whole appraisal business.the secrecy in which its done...did u get it no ....umm yeah ....in process...suddenly people who never bother to speak trying to extract info.its kind of hard to hide it with friends.no one is happy abt kc i guess but the fact is the work sucks firstly and if only that habit of getting too personal is decreased its kind of good for everyone in the team but yeah all have their demons to fight and their ways.i write so much against kc's ways but i guess the fact is a guide is needed for kc to be better.. ...which is lacking and of course authority but the fact is my managers manager is a damned terrible complex story.
there is so much unease all around....people feeling the stuck up kind.new people already bored.Finally had my appr discussion at end and ..... all said and done i realised again where i lackonly one place .... confidence .Self confidence ive but the confidence of taking iniative is lacking and yeah the manager did make that clear but point given ...it was fair i felt in a way....it was made clear ... ur skills in process and mangement are highly appreciated so better build on that as you work.dont bother too much about technical(there are way too many for that) just get the basics fine.and some more discussions.it was already late so cut short.

When i thought about it all i wondered
who was true in there...me hmm yeah 75% but does kc think well really of me,or we are both trying to outdo diplomacy levels.I know i dislike things about kc and very vocal about them bet friends and the blog but what i like is one thing the ability to learn and listen ...only no good people to listen to are there.

aru was telling me she envies kc. i was ummmmmwhat is there to envy yeah a Sr manager at a young age than aru and me but look at life... no good.i probably dont dislike some people personally...just that in the work arena they simply are not fine.i was simply wondering .... me of all the work getting into marketing....not exactly but thats what im getting into indirectly.
Life always teaches me the same lesson.
Never say never...