I the hopeless, Me the stubborn, My Time the precious

Isnt time the most precious thing in today's world.
Its the most valuable thing you have and should be given to what we love or we care for and not what we are supposed to care for and love.How rarely we manage to do it in reality.
I've always thought the same but now i am feeling the pinch of it a bit too much.
People try to take so much of it...
in the name of responsibilty
in the name of dutyin the name of work
and you fail to give it to what you love
what deserves the time of your life does not get it.
From birth to death you are given roles to play....
you may say you are irresponsible and
try to escape them...live for yourself but no one leaves you....
and the whole process of evading those responsibilities thrust on you
takes up the same time.
Why we cannot own our own time....
Why cant i use it for what i love
Why do people claim my time as theirs
by blood by money by coercion by fortune.
I feel so horrible...sometimes i feel i am so evil
so self centered....but i try to be just the same as i guess
i better be that than the nice one i once was whom everyone thought is doing a favor by acknowledging...i have come a long way since those days.
What a nice Obedient(nothing ever pleases people be it home or office more) girl i was known as those days and what a hopeless self-centered uncaring girl i have become as per people who've seen me through life.

Everyone from the TV i watched ,to books i read, to friends i have had have been blamed for my transformation though it was i who chose each one of the above.No one ever thinks may be i was the same .... just tried to live upto them but now am fed up and dont care.
where i am supposed to belong i am a thorn
where id like to belong i am a stranger
its some other world "my world"
again the same I ...My
I do wish i was such large hearted as some pretend to be and some may be really
why do i always think of My
My books...My friends..My flowers...My garden..
My room My world....My Time....My Life
All people have a flaw
A flaw which takes them to great heights or their Doom
No i dont think perfect people matter or are visible as anything... success or failure
Its the flaw in your mind..soul that you try to correct ....perfect
that makes people become what they end up as.
Mine is this My....I beleive in nothing worldly as much as i appear in harmony with this worlds ways.
Whatever good i do i relate to some My I think i'll be of any good in this world only when i think"My world"...As long as i think this is God's world..what a hell he has created......i will be the same.
(All this i thought up because after a miserable tiring week my mom lays a claim to my weekend and i protest and i am considered the most hopeless useless hard hearted person.I guess i am really terrible )

"What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960"