The never changing Fixations....

Its been like a year now since i first finally started blogging after thinking about it since sooo long and i was juts looking back and its strange so much has changed and then so much has not changed. My blog started complaining about my managers and work and it still has not changed but what has changed is someone somewhere is also blogging or orkutting complaining about me i guess.

There was so much to write then and i guess i really loved putting it into words at the start ....now with tooo many more things on mind i never seem to get into one single track on which to write about and all my pages are like my life disorganised thoughts leading nowhere but i guess some lives are just that.

As of now after two weekends of travelling out of station and being extremely tired i found a sunday to sit at home and my net people did a great favor by disconnecting the internet ( he got an earful for that though with me being pretty upset...i mean no net for 5 days hmmm ) for the whole of the weekend hence i just write rather than browse around meaninglessly or do some useless stuff .

I was remembering what i had once wondered at a previous job when a customer had sobbed saying he had almost 20 GB of songs....we were like smirking does he ever listen to them all. Well today i seem to be in such a situation. With nearly 6 GB of songs and still downloading from here n there at every opportunity i asked myself how much am i listening to compared to those days when i used to play the Tape recorder at my bedside in the lowest volume .

I know i never read e books......as i hate reading on screen whatever can be read on paper. But with space constarints i love having ebooks as a reference when i return books to the library. And i keep searching them on orkut...esnips. But i hardly read books now as much as i used to read...for the first time i kept a book for whole of 40 days and did not turn a page and returned it. I do think i should brush up my technical stuff now that i am planning to apply wherever i can but i never do that...it took me a final interview to get to read up the geekinterview.com...though i messed up the interview at least i got started....it shook me from that lazy stupor i have fallen into.

Then as if 2 months of lull was too much i went on my shopping spree again....... As i sat down looking back i know what i was fixated on ....the village house where we stayed at........the trip to that lake was great but i can always say it was an outing but what makes me feel envy is the fact that someone has such a lovely house.......i mean it was lovely ....large pucca house double story with a huge courtyard with all kinds of trees....brinjals hanging and coconuts...there was television.....everything really and a much more servants there.

There were no cultured roses but yeah the not so looked after garden had been filled with lavender wildflowers......when i woke up at 8 in morning.My 1 mega pixel cam blurred the pic and turned them to blue flowers which hardly look as great here....By evening 5 they all close and it looks like a barren place again. As i described it to her and said it’d be lovely to be there she laughed and said as if it wont be hard.

I say why hard .......i mean i just am fed up of these small spaces...yes we live here because of amenities.......not sure what are those.........you can find much loyal and willing servants up there. She said yeah you can coz all you will do is have big room with bookshelves and a large garden and television for a change (ok she missed the computer) bas you would be happy.

We all have some fixations...If i love flowers in the garden my sister somehow says she loves a vegetable garden though she would not do anything for it she says she’d love if someone grew it. Her favorite she says is tomato plant. The way she says it in Hindi will her eyes rolling is amazing. ”Vaise lal lal fal latakte rehte hain na to lagta hai mehnat ka fal mila jaise bolte na waise mil gaya hai.” she will say. She says how much farmers must love to see their crops esp the ones with such vegetables.

So we argued and finally concluded that while living in village was hardly a cake walk but with money it would be great to have a house like that back to go back to when sick of this place , noise and traffic.

Thing is i want to go to office but i don’t want to work.....i need a break from work. Some people just are freaks. We have a small room with the coffee machine and we four girls kind of sit up on the platform and joke for 5 to 10 mins there when we trek up for coffee together. All this changed when one of the senior managers complained to our manager that this must stop as people were feeling embarrassed of coming and taking coffee when girls sat together as if in a college environment.....Hmmm

Seems like at office you should look like you are working hard and tortured not laughing or having fun and joking ...that’s what I remembered then....... lot of the people certainly have a problem if they see others laughing .....they simply don’t believe in that phrase live and let live. Neither do they live nor let others live.